Visiting the dentist…

So yesterday I had to visit the dentist. I have been having some pain, I knew it was my wisdom tooth but I was hoping I could ignore it and it would go away. It soon became apparent that I wasn’t going to be able to hold off going. I was not even registered at a dentist. Have not been in about 7 years since my last wisdom tooth got infected.

The thing is its not that I am scared of the dentist or anything, the pain the procedures and really the noise doesn’t bother me its the fact that they have to get in my face, have to be so close to me. Which if course they have to do they need to look at my teeth but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. Also if I don’t have a problem, like no pain then I just forget about the dentist. Its not something I am particularly interested in or anything so it just slips my mind. It also costs so much that I do not always see the point in paying out for it, which I know isn’t the right attitude and I do appreciate what they do but its just another excuse not to go.

Anyway I managed to get an emergency appointment for the weekend which made me feel much better as it would stress me out having to have an appointment in work hours. The receptionist was very nice and my partner came with me to support. Well I went upstairs with the dentist and I sat in the chair like she asked. I had informed her that I was autistic but all she really cared about was if I was on any medication. I felt nervous, twitchy but manageable. The dentist began looking at my teeth and everything was fine, then she walked over to her computer and started talking dentist language, none of which I understood. She was doing this for ages and I had no idea what was going on, or what I was meant to be doing. Should I continue to lay here? Am I meant to sit up now? She just wasn’t very forthcoming with any instructions or directions and I could feel myself beginning to struggle with this. I was stimming by rubbing my fingers in a certain rhythm and I could feel my eyes starting to well up.

Finally she came over and said we would go for an x-ray. This was fine. We went down and she told me to bite down on some part of the machine and to stay still for the whole time. I did this. When she came back in after the machine had stopped she looked at me and was like you can stop biting down now. A rush of embarrassment came over me, of course part of me knew I could stop when the machine finished but she had said I had to stay still so I did as instructed. We went back upstairs and she went back to the computer, I again didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Did she need to look at my teeth anymore? Was I finished? so I just stood there next to the chair. Eventually she turned round and said “can you move so my nurse can get through and come back to me.” Well the nurse had just been standing against the wall across from me, she could have also gone round the other way very easily. She hadn’t asked me to move or said excuse me please at all. Once again I felt embarrassed. She told me to sit on the chair. There were two chairs in the room. The main one where I sat before and one in the corner. I didn’t know what one she meant but I didn’t want to mess up again by not following her directive. I already felt like an idiot. I sat myself on the main chair, but then I wasn’t sure if I should sit with my back to her, because that’s rude but the way the main chair faces, plus was she going to do anything else to my teeth? Did I need to be able to lay back again? I sat sideways so I could see her but this didn’t feel right. She continued to type away on her computer and then finally spoke to me. Telling me what was wrong and that I would need to book another appointment for treatment. Then told me I could go. I politely said thankyou and left.

Now I am left knowing that I have got to go back and deal with all of this again. I just wish she was a bit more forthcoming with what she wants me to do and with information. I know that I should just ask for this but I feel silly for it. I feel inadequate for not knowing the expectations or what she meant. Well my next appointment is coming up…lets hope it goes okay!